I sent out over 700 notifications to join weblog by accident. I tried to clean up the snafu by sending a mass email apologizing for inadvertently sending the email and telling everyone to just delete it. Gmail denied me that little bit of relief because they don't let you send more than 500 emails. I started to brainstorm about how I could send the mass email out but finally decided to live with the blunder.
Not only that, but I chose to look at it as an opportunity on handling self-loathing. It didn't take long before I a name on the long list would pop in my head and I would imagine how they would see this non-intentional spam incident. I purposely keep personal, business and other types of emails to a minimum. So I had to live with my minimalist "image" being upended.
As I was reeling about handling this situation it occurred to me that I could just let it go. There wasn't much I could do and the energy I would spend and worry I would create from contacting everyone would be overwhelming. So I moved on. For a while I couldn't stop thoughts from popping into my head about how a customer, vice president or acquaintance would view me. Gratefully, I didn't do a lot of beating myself up over it. The company made it very easy to send the bulk email out because it benefits them to have hundreds of potential clients. They gave me a pop up screen with no clear way to exit and when i hit "continue" it sent the email with no warning. but hey, it really did turn out to be an opportunity for personal development.
Here's the values that I automatically began to remind myself of. let it go because it won't matter in 20 years, let alone 20 hours. it's an instant perspective -shifter and a great short-term tactic for suppressing any negative self-talk. you may have heard of the self help book called "blank." I've read it and I found the best takeaway of the entire book is the wisdom in the title. it helps you pull out of the micro world of self loathing and focus on your thoughts about a situation that is really beyond your control - could mess up more by fixing as people will now see 2 emails from me in their inbox - off point. so use it.
I also used a Zen Choices belief that every seemingly negative situation can be viewed as a positive. Napolkeon Hill, author of the granddaddy of all self development books put it like this: blank.
I also used the belief that what you think about expands. do i want my mind on building a successful ecommerce website and thriving personal dvelopment blog duirng the day or on thoughts about my image that are otu of my control and may not happen. let's face it out of those 700 emails, the people either will or will not open them. either way it's pretty insignificant, even if i choose to make it a big deal. for some, it might be more critical to patch up the impression, but i'm going to get on with life.
So friends, you can choose to get mired down in the mouse view where problems that won't matter in 20 years sometimes 20 minutes use up most of your time and energy or you can make a positive shift in your attitude. Not at the time, but shortly after I had realigned with my core beliefs and values, and you can always find at least two of each in any situation, I was honestly grateful for the test. Now I'll react even quicker and even more automatically next time. You might think this is putting on rose-colored glasses or tricking yourself into a new outlook, but it's actually choosing the fullness of the present moment. As much of a cliche as that is, it is the point. You don't need to get visited by your troublesome thoughts (the way they hound Scrooge in A Christmas Carol) to transform your attitude and behavior in the present.
In closing, I just want to reiterate the cumulative effect of a personal development plan. A system gets to rigid for me. My plan works by laying out at least 5 values and 5 beliefs that I turn to in any situation, good or bad, that I become aware of on a daily basis. What I mean by cumulative is that I was faced with a situation that was very troubling but re-framed it with just 2 values and 2 beliefs and when I had traversed the thoughts that I could let bother and block me from my better self, that can only be found in the present, I was actually grateful for the experience. I'll also add as a final note that I believe (yes, this is one of my core beliefs) that much of the energy I was able to garner was the result of regular meditation. When you can take a deep breath and control your thoughts even a tiny bit, it triggers a larger awareness and even if I can't literally slow the thoughts, I can slow how I process them. In other words, not let each thought trigger a knee-jerk reaction or string of more negative thoughts. As they say in the secret, it all starts with one. Experience has taught me that mediation allows me greater time between thoughts. If you've ever heard people say that mediation creates space, but felt that word was very fluffy, then next time think less literally - about the space between thoughts. if it slows there are less. less is more. more energy and happiness. less negative thoughts mean less physical release of chemicals that kick off stress in your body, which in turn can make us jumpier and angry. Since thought-forms take up energy and also accumulate more negative thought-forms if allowed, and positive thoughts can replace the negative, meditation literally can create more space for the positive. Try thinking of it like that rather than have an inner debate about whether there can literally be more space in your mind or brain.
So out of the email jam came a feeling of being grateful for realigning myself into a more positive outlook and deeper awareness of my self and the world. what a great thursday it's turned out to be.
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Over and over I realize that mistakes mean you are succeeding. I mean I supposes someone gets all their leaps of faith right, but I haven't read a story like that yet. Just today I committed the energy and money to starting a new website business. I had that feeling in my stomach like this is a big commitment and not 5 minutes later did I realize that I was incorrectly submitting my a file to Google for my first website. That realization alone was worth the discomfort and satisfaction that I fixed something that was holding me back. Like I said, over and over the mistakes keep coming... and that's good.
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